Still Into You
by kindagay
Summary: After the chaos of the duration and inevitable fall of Project Freelancer, two of the three remaining agents try to cope with the loss of their friends and a relationship they are not sure survived the test of time. Agent Washington x OC
1. Wash

He loves her.

He can not deny it; after everything that has happened he still loves her. However, he is not the naive rookie anymore, now he is just a broken man trying to make up for all the harm he has caused. He has scars, both physical and mental, that plague his mind and body. He is not the man he once was, _this _Wash is tired and world weary.

_ This _Wash still loves her.

Arizona is not the woman he loved though; she is an iceberg adrift among a sea of memories that has broken off from some distant land- her former self. He misses her bright eyed enthusiasm and the way she used to laugh. Hell he even misses the way she used to babble excitedly about things he could never understand.

Now she is distant and quiet, but she still uses humor as a shield. Now, however, the humor is all snark with an edge to it that echoes of someone who has seen too much bad in the world. Although, he can still catch glimpses of her former self when he says something either funny or exasperated and the tiniest of smiles pulls at the corners of her mouth.

Despite all the changes _this _Wash still loves _this _Arizona.

He just does not know if she still loves him.

"Mr. Washington, sir? Yes, uhm, there may have been a bit of an accident with uhm... one of the warthogs….." Caboose trails off and with a tired sigh he stirs from bed to inspect what the damage was this time.

He is not surprised when he finds Arizona standing by the flipped warthog. She does not sleep anymore. Neither of them do anymore.

There are too many memories, too many ghosts, too much guilt.


	2. Ari

She does not like to sleep anymore; she has learned to run on short naps but even then she still wakes up shaking. Some nights are better than others, sometimes the memories do not haunt her as much. Tonight is one of the worse nights.

She wakes up covered in a cold sweat, shaking, and nauseous. She does not admit to herself that she is crying; it is just the sweat.

A cold shower gives her no relief. She is still shaking but she tries to tell herself it is just from the temperature of the water. She tries to drink some coffee to wake up but the bitter taste only serves to make her sicker. So, instead, she ambles aimlessly through the halls trying to wake up and pass the time until the rest are up and they are on the go again.

She ends up in front of Wash's door. It has happened many times before, she always seems to end up in front of his door, she is starting to think her AI might be responsible for this. Zeta wants her to be happy -he was the Alpha's happiness- and he knows that Wash is a key component in the equation of her happiness.

Zeta pretends to sleep in the back of her mind but she can feel him rejoice in satisfaction when, unlike all the times before, she knocks once and lets herself into the room.

Wash is awake, like she expected, and sitting up wearily to peer at her and he is clearly surprised to see her. He is out of his armor for once, clad in only a pair of boxer-briefs, yet she hardly flusters at his lack of clothing. They had been lovers a long time ago.

"Ari…?" A smile pulls at the corner of her lips; he has not called her by that nickname since they found each other again. It was always Arizona and she supposed it made more sense because she was not even sure if she was still Arizona, let alone Ari.

"I couldn't sleep." They are simple words but she hates how they sound in the silence of the room. They are shaky and weak and she knows her knobby knees are banging together noticeably. She knows that he sees this too, knows that he knows how broken she is even though she still can not admit it to herself, but he says nothing.

He lets her sit beside him on the bed, lets her lay her head against his bare freckled shoulder, and lets her shake and definitely-not-cry into him. He does not try to placate her with empty assurances because they both do not know if it will ever get easier. Can sinners ever atone for their sins? Can skeletons ever leave behind their graveyards of ghosts? Neither of them know the answers to these questions and so he just lets her curl into him.

It is only when the shaking calms and the definitely-not-tears stop that she realizes they are lying down. The blankets are around them and she fits as snugly against him as she remembers; his arms are around her waist, pulling her into him, and his head is buried in her hair, vaguely she can feel his lips pressed to her scalp. The steady beating of his heart and the rise and fall of his chest soothes her further.

She wonders briefly if he knows how much she still loves him; how much she still needs him. She wants to tell him, is going to, but stops because she is just so damn afraid. She is still a coward, even after everything, and she cannot bring herself to tell him. She cannot handle him becoming another ghost in her graveyard of forgotten loved ones.

She just hopes he knows she loves him even if she can not say it.

Sometime after that they both fall asleep and for once the dreams do not come. The memories of old, familiar, faces do not tear her to pieces. She still wakes up mourning the life she has lost but the ache in her heart is bearable once more.

When she returns another night, they do not say anything and the visits repeat more frequently until finally when she turns in for the night it is his bed she goes to.

**A/N: Okay so I have been toying around with a lot of ideas for a story about the (mis)adventures of Arizona and Wash but I'm not sure if I should actually write out a linear story (as of right now I have 31 pages of random snippets of story). So if you liked this and would like me to write more please let me know in a review! Okay, thank you for reading! Bye. **


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